Let RFSU's very own sex expert Pelle Ullholm guide you through the jungle of safe sex and intimate conversations.

Is it possible to have the condom talk without it being so awkward?

Yeah, absolutely. However, it's not always easy. If you'd like to speak about it, try to do it when you're not about to have sex. If you're in a relationship, discuss it some other time. For many people, talking about sex and condoms is touchy, sensitive stuff. But communication is really important in a relationship – especially when it comes to the things that matter to you most. If you meet with resistance, dare to challenge that and strengthen your relationship together. If you're in a more casual relationship, many people find texting to be an easier option. “I always use a condom. No condom = no sex.” Research shows that it's always best to clearly state your intentions. The easiest way? Raise the topic and don't doubt yourself. It's usually most effective if the person who's going to wear the condom is responsible for it. Guys who sort out the condom issue are more appreciated by their partners – and free up space for the other half to focus on the sex itself. They are also considered confident, experienced, responsible and considerate. If you're allowed to spend more time thinking about sex, you end up hornier when the time comes.

I don't feel as much when I use a condom. Why wear one?

You feel a bit less with a condom on – there's no denying it. But it doesn't need to be a bad thing. For many people condoms extend the plateau phase – when you get more and more horny – and many people have longer penetrative sex with a condom. Condoms only present a problem when they take away too much feeling. For example, if it's hard to maintain an erection or have an orgasm. There are many ways to have sex, and many of those don't require a condom at all. Oral sex, especially clitoral, decreases the risk of STDs. Avoid getting sperm in your mouth – don't swallow. And remember, no one gets pregnant from a hand job. What do you like? A lot of great sex doesn't require a condom at all, so experiment with other kinds of sex. Only use a condom when having intercourse, which can take place after a lot of other action. Find your own way – make sex more unique, exciting and varied. Many people find kissing, fondling and then penetration to be predictable and dull over time.

How do I not loose my hard-on when putting on a condom?

The topic is kind of taboo, and many people don't realize just how common it is. It happens to everyone at one time or another, and knowing it can happen could make it less dramatic. If it does happen, try your best to relax. Focus on turning your partner on, or vice versa. No stress. A partner can keep you turned on by caressing your inner thigh, sucking on an earlobe, etc. Touch your partner. Keep the horny factor high and a hard-on will come. A hard-on is affected by stress, so don't get too worked up. If you're too stressed, have sex later once you've calmed down.

Condoms aren't sexy. How can I make sex with them hotter?

One way is to keep the intimacy going while the condom is being put on. Another way is to rethink condoms altogether – to think about what is possible because of them. Condoms make it safer to have sex with multiple partners, removing any eventual anxiety. And if you're the one who asks to use a condom, you come across as confident, experienced and thoughtful. Consider that. You become hotter – just by asking to use a condom and pulling one out. Your partner can concentrate on the sex. Indirectly speaking, the condom is actually hot. Speaking about condoms is also a way in which you express your desire to have sex. If the other person reacts positively, this only increases your longing for one another.

I'm allergic to latex. What should I do?

If you think you are allergic, get checked. Sometimes it's not that at all. There are also plastic condoms and condoms with lower concentrations of latex, such as ultra-thin condoms, regardless of the brand. And you feel these condoms less than other condoms. You may actually think this is a good thing.

I never find the right size. What can I do?

Try until you find one that fits! There are so many different condom sizes and types out there. And information on all of them is available online. Do you prefer straight or specially shaped condoms? Maybe a thinner one? It's not always down to the condom size. Try putting a little lube inside the tip of the condom if it's too tight. Most condoms fit most people, but of course there are exceptions. When getting used to having intercourse with a condom, many people think differently about the shape as well. Give the condom a chance. Peace. :)

I'm afraid I'll seem easy – or imply that my partner is – if I ask to use a condom.

Research shows that this is rarely the case. Most people appreciate when someone asks to use a condom. It doesn't mean that you've had other sexual partners. Does it bother you if someone has had sex with multiple partners? Regardless, rarely does someone turn down sex once a condom enters the picture.

How can I convince my boyfriend that condoms are a good thing?

Try to talk to him about your intentions, preferably in a laid-back setting. Be constructive. Remind him that it's possible to have safe sex with or without a condom. Test another type of condom – maybe a thinner one feels better. Make sure he understands you. Your partner has a responsibility to make sure your needs are met. If he doesn't, does he meet your needs in other aspects of the relationship? When you're with someone, you have to find common ground and listen to one another. If not, is this the kind of partner you want?

Are there any condoms that don't smell like rubber?

Most condoms smell a lot less than they used to. Ultra-thin condoms have even less of a scent. There are also different flavored condoms that conceal the smell. Check out a new condom and you'll realize how much they've changed the last couple of years.

How can condoms get better and sexier?


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